Helen or Helen @ Red Sunset

[James Dean]

Red Sunset
47 Sydenham Rd.
Marrickville
Phone: 9550 4633

Hi Friends,

This is a tale of two Helens.

Before I get all hot and bothered here, I need to give you an understanding of why this was a crook put.

You know, years ago Chrysler manufactured cars in Australia. The last year they were here they imported Mitsubishi Magnas from Japan and they became Wheels ‘Car of the Year’.The review of them said they were reliable, well put together and represented the best in Japanese technology. I bought one.

The moment I took ownership of said vehicle I was a full time resident of Lemonsville. There were problems with the external trim coming off. The dashboard was warped and had to be replaced and rattled loudly from that time on. Worse still, I went through clutches on this thing faster than an old geezer slurps through a box of Viagra. Since the thing only had a one year warranty I was shit scared of what would happen when that time ran out. I had good reason. It chronically leaked oil, there were problems with the electrical system and no matter how much a babied the clutch, it would pack up in about 3 months.

After two years I traded the Magna in on a Ford Cortina and folks that another story of how shitty a motor vehicle can be. It was also Wheels ‘Car of the Year’. Now I am not saying the blokes at Wheels fudged the reviews, but what I got was nothing like what they stated.

Now, the second thing that leads to this dud punt involved a mate I had in the Army named Marcos Morales. Marcos and I were out on a weekend pass and went to a night club. There we saw two beautiful women setting at a table. I suggested we go over and talk to them. Marcos pointed out how this joint, like all the others, had ‘pretty lights’. I asked him what he meant and the following discussion transpired:

Marcos: James I went to this club once and saw the most ravishing fox setting at a table I had ever laid eyes one. I moved in and ran my line on her. We clicked Stevie. In no time I had my tongue down her throat and my hands squeezing her tits harder than Mama Maria squeezes the fucking eggplants in the supermarket. I was drunk as a skunk and we ended up at her place where we engaged in the most filthy acts together. I can't tell them to you because I am ashamed of them myself. At any rate, I woke up with her next me to me and the morning sun shining through a dirty window. James, I could have shit a brick with what I saw. She was 60 years old if she was fucking day old. She had the face of an old woman.

Dean; What did you do?

Marcos: Zipped up my pants and headed for the hills! It was all those pretty lights in the club that done me in.

This brings us to Helen.

On a couple of forums there are reviews of Helen at Red Sunset. She is described a a pretty good looker, late 30’s to early f40’s and has DD to FF boobs. (Fuck Magazines ‘WL of the Year’)

I called Red Sunset earlier today and the following conversation ensued with Mamasan.

Mamasan: Yes, Helen working today. New girl.
Dean: Good I want to book her for an hour at 2:00

After the call I thought, “These Mamasans are all alike. Helen isn’t a new girl. Why did she have to say that?

So, I am happily on my way to Red Sunset with thoughts of Helen on my mind. I am thinking, ‘I am going to be sucking on those teats faster than a hobo on a ham sandwich”.

I arrive, pay Mamasan the dough, go to room two, strip off and Helen enters.

BUT this Helen, like the Mitsubishi, doesn’t meet the specs. This one looks over 50. She has A cups and folks I didn’t find her attractive.

She was sort of friendly. I asked for a bbj and she got out a little bottle of something, shot some liquid into her gob and commenced to provide a boring, one dimensional bbj that I rapidly became tedious to me. I had her in mish, doggie and cowgirl. She provided me with huge scoops full of FOAM (Fake Orgasm and Moaning). Folks, that was it. I was bored and wanted out. Forget the hour. I jerked myself off and was outa there in 40 minutes.

Was she a ring in? Nope, Mamasan did say she was new. But why on earth would that Mamasan tell the truth when she has a history of lying through her teeth to me?

I guess old Helen has flow the coup and they’ve slapped this lady with the same moniker. At any rate, it was a dud punt. I won’t be seeing this Helen again.

Like Marcos Morales lady, Helen has the face of an old woman. Like the Wheels ‘Car of the Year’ award, she did not come up to spec.

I’ve got to go mates.

See you soon.

Until that time friends . . .until that time.

James
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