New to visiting brothels?

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bender
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New to visiting brothels?

Unread postby bender » Mon Jun 13, 2005 11:41 pm

Here's a few tips if you are just starting out, only my 2c worth.

1) Don't pick up street girls
2) Don't go to Kings Cross strip clubs

* To get started perhaps try an erotic massage - then explore some of the full service options after that.

* It will take time to get over your shyness and nervousness, but eventually you will feel right at home chatting to brothel staff.

* Reception will exaggerate everything on the phone, to get you to visit the shop, eg number of ladies, age of ladies etc etc. Take it with a grain of salt and no probs.

* Before you go, ask your self what you are looking for. If you are not looking for a fat old boiler you do not have to go with a boiler. Try to shop around and find a place that has what you are looking for.

* Generally things will be busier thur, fri and sat nights, the upside is more ladies are rostered on so more choice, however some guys like to visit during quiet times like off nights, or at meal times, may be less girls on but it feels more relaxed and personalised.

* There's no need to be shy or nervous, you are not doing anything illegal. Understandably, married guys may prefer to be more discreet than single guys. Many shops have a more discreet rear entrance.

* It helps if you are smiling, clean, sober and polite

* Switch off your phone during session

* Both you and your selected lady MUST be over 18yrs

* Learn to say "This is not what I'm looking for" smile, and walk out if you don't like what's on offer. Keep in mind what you ARE looking for maybe rostered on a different day so reception can be your best ally.

* If you see a hottie that you must have, don't hesitate book her immediately before someone else does. You can also extend your booking at any time.

* Direct all questions to reception that's their job. You can also ask questions directly to ladies during the introduction, or in the room.

* Chinese receptionists often have low level English so they are not always stupid, it just seems that way due to the cultural gap and language problems.

* Like any business you can negotiate the prices at some places. Try it on with reception, but always keep a smile on your face, and remember you're not buying a house.

* Do you research. It can be impossible to judge on appearances, sometimes the glamour in the lineup has a princess attitude in the room, and the 'plain jane' will fuck your brains out.

* At some places, you can expect a "health check" whereby your penis is examined under a lamp. Any problems at all in this department go directly to your doctor or http://www.sesahs.nsw.gov.au/sydhosp/SSHC.asp do not pass go do not collect $200

* You usually pay upfront and you must wear a condom during sex, working girls will often use lube as well a water based lubricant. It doesn't hurt to be generous with the lube.

* Don't fuck around wasting time in the shower, you should have already had a shower before you arrived, you should need a quick rinse only. Everything you do in that room costs you $3.33/minute so washing your hair/talking/etc might not be a top priority in a half hour booking. You do not have to "chat up" hookers in the room.

* "Foreplay, cuddling - a Jedi craves not these things" - Yoda. Use common sense to time your session especially in a 30min booking. If unsure just say "I love oral sex" at the beginning - she will know what to do

* for longer bookings the rule at some places is "you can cum as many times as you can within the paid time", but be reasonable, if you've just hammered her for 45 mins she may have deserved a break. Tip! If you've cum once and you feel satisfied, just ask her for a back rub for the remaining time.

* It is reasonable to issue polite instructions to your working lady during the session to keep things moving along eg: "I'd prefer to have a massage after we've finished" or "Lets try this position now". *Exception* With Korean massage girls it is often better to let them take charge as they often have a set agenda and may not expect to have it interrupted.

* Note that many Asian ladies have low level English, they won't know or care what the hell you are talking about, however most of em know the word "tip"

* Each shop and receptionist has a different interpretation of 30 minutes before they hit the buzzer. I've seen it go off after 13 minutes whilst timing it on my watch. Some argue that they hit it at 25 mins to let you have a shower. Sometimes they let you go overtime and don't even buzz. They are all different so it takes a while to familiarise. The main thing is to start the session without time wasting at the beginning then you should be fine. Stats say that the average pumping time during sex is only 7 minutes.

* Hearts and Ho's don't mix, don't make the mistake of thinking you are having a relationship. It's very common for girls to act a little during the session. Just enjoy it for what is is then move on.

* It's not cool to ask a WL for her phone number, it could be perceived as your attempt to meet her outside the shop (shop loses out) or worse "headhunt" her away to another shop. Keep your nose clean.

* When there is a knock on the door, or the buzzer goes this usually indicates you are almost out of time, start thinking about winding things up.

* It is called punting for a reason. It's perfectly normal to have dud sessions now and then. Best bet is to make a full on complaint to the management. However note that It's not realistic to judge all service in a given shop on the basis of one bad experience.

* If you had a good time, why not post a review in the hookerlooker forum?

Thats all I can think of, but I'm sure others will have more advice to add below guys?

* Finally, If you meet your boss/relative/neighbour/daughter just give them a big high 5, yell out "woohooo" then bark like a dog and howl at the moon. Give them a big wink and a nudge and be sure to do some hip thrusting movements for good measure. Then proceed to give them a hardcore explicit "blow by blow" description of your last rooting session emphasising every gory detail.
Last edited by bender on Sat Aug 05, 2006 2:13 pm, edited 34 times in total.

Nightboy
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Unread postby Nightboy » Tue Jun 14, 2005 1:33 am

Know what you're after & be firm about it.

Let's say you are new to visiting brothels, but you are really happy at discovering this great easy way to get off when you are really horny.
You have a thing for slim Asian women but the first establishment you visit only has chunky Aussie sheilas in the line up.
A lot of new guys will actually choose a woman who does nothing for him, simply because he finds the situation awkward. He doesn't know how to say 'no', is worried about giving offence, mistakenly feels that simply because he rang a doorbell he is now obliged to stay & spend approx $120. Or else he is really horny & too damn lazy to drive somewhere else & check out another line up.

This is the wrong way to go about it.
Know in advance what you will say when you don't want to stay. If you like you can give a reason eg "None are my type, thanks anyway".
You're not even obliged to give a reason. Shrug your shoulders & say "I might try again another night".
Don't bother with lame excuses like "I left my wallet in my car."

Then go visit another place, & another place if necessary, until you find what turns you on. You'll be much happier in the long run. Sure, it would be great if we found our perfect shag at the first establshment we visted, but it aint gonna happen, so plan for it in advance.

Makes me wonder - what's the most number of brothels anyone has visited in one day/night before finally choosing someone.
Not many for me, I think the most was 3, a few years back.
1st was Liasons - nuh
2nd was Touch Of Class - nuh
3rd was that Asian place a few doors down from TOC that became known as Minx. Saw the high quality line up, picked Gigi from Malaysia. What a great choice, talk about Hall Of Fame.

Being choosy, driving around & not stopping til I found what I was after paid off big time that night.

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Unread postby werewolf » Tue Jun 14, 2005 1:55 am

use a condom

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Unread postby thesilentorator » Tue Jun 14, 2005 7:06 am

Don't worry if you have a bad time...all of us had bad expereineces, so move on. The next one might be better! :twisted:

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alecsomesmart
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Unread postby alecsomesmart » Thu Jun 16, 2005 4:43 pm

Sadly, there are still a lot of places you wouldn't risk a Credit Card with:
Be cashed up. It's easier for everyone (you can tip discreetly too)

For God's sake shower and shave! It's not a date but respect and manners go a long long way. No girl likes razor burn and BO.

Breath mints?

I second the vote for condoms- not worth the risk without IMHO.

Your Mum was right: clean underwear will take you places.

Ok and here's a big one when you get dressed: WEAR A SMILE
It really does help. :D

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bender
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Unread postby bender » Mon Jun 27, 2005 5:42 pm

Switch off/ silent mode phone during session

tip from alecsomesmart

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Unread postby hooboy » Sat Jul 02, 2005 12:44 am

..
Last edited by hooboy on Wed Jun 14, 2006 10:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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trashhammer
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Unread postby trashhammer » Sun Jul 03, 2005 6:21 pm

That's pretty sound advice hooboy , sounds like you have earned you stripes.
I agree with all above points.

Would add if you can get a bit of conversation going in the intro you will learn how to assess attitude and what tricks they might be up for in a good humoured way.... with the aid of a few gushing compliments to smooth the way for some crucial questions.

BTW What places have you been frequenting lately Hooboy ?

TH
Last edited by trashhammer on Thu Jul 14, 2005 3:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Unread postby hooboy » Tue Jul 12, 2005 2:28 pm

..
Last edited by hooboy on Wed Jun 14, 2006 10:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Guest

Unread postby Guest » Thu Jul 14, 2005 3:33 pm

I do this ..."Always" go for different girls but make a note of cyclonic hotties.
When a cash bonus comes in ...go back for the mere fun of it ... no research needed.

Girls I have seen for returns last financial year >

Rebecca North Shore 2
Julie North Shore 3
Jenny NorthShore 2
Angela at Vixens 2
Monica Ex Casablanca 4
Angelina Casablanca 11 + ... I have weakness for true entertainers
Betty Nadia Tina and others at 5 Alan st ( sorry its all a blur, but a good one)

TH

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Unread postby alecsomesmart » Sat Jul 30, 2005 6:35 pm

Ok thought I would post up another "rule of thumb" so to speak. Might stir up some debate.

Make two fists in front of you like you are riding a motor bike up close.

Stick out your thumbs (rule of thumb get it? get it? Oh brother!) and bring fists together so that thumbs touch each other.

Put pinkies (small/little/last) fingers out on each hand like you would if you were drinking tea with the Queen (oldest WL!- see other post).

See that gap? If her ARSE is any WIDER THAN THAT GAP (and you are paying for it- GFs don't count) than you are wasting your money. Go find one that does fit you lazy boy!

This works for two reasons:
Small arse WL get lots of work and fat ones get no work and starve and then their arse gets smaller.

Does not always work for two reasons:
If you have very small hands then it is difficult to find a wL that fits - try ladyboy instead.

I have very big hands so I end up with lots of fat chicks :(

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Unread postby werewolf » Sun Jul 31, 2005 11:47 am

when you read it from beginning to end, that's pretty damned funny!

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trashhammer
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Unread postby trashhammer » Sun Jul 31, 2005 7:12 pm

Haha , yeah funny alright ...but I tried it ..estimating arse size ..ANDN HE'S RIGHT . Tha is my favourite size ...any bigger and i do start to wonde why I am paying for it.

Will use this at 5 Alan st ..will cut down my list do MUST DO girls a bit...maybe !

Betty passes this test easily by my hands with flying colours.

TH

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alecsomesmart
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Unread postby alecsomesmart » Fri Sep 30, 2005 5:40 pm

OK so It’s Friday arvo and I have way too much time on my hands so here is another rule of thumb to “pencil in.” Most of you will have heard it anyway but for those who haven’t…

THE GF/WIFE “FIRMNESS” RULE.

Next time you see GF/WIFE naked you say (in a loud commanding voice) “ Wife come here!”

You place a pencil under her breast. If it stays she FAILS the test.
If it drops to the ground without bouncing off her she PASSES.

Now if you say” Wife (GF) come here!” and she ignores you or says “Get Fxxked!”
-That’s an AUTOMATIC FAIL.
If she sticks the pencil in your eye?
-That’s an AUTOMATIC FAIL.

If you have not seen Wife/GF naked in the last two weeks to perform the test you must ask yourself a series of questions:

Are you in gaol?
Send wife/gf to me for testing.

She won’t let you see her naked?
She gets a warning. After another two weeks: -That’s an AUTOMATIC FAIL.

You have only been together as BF/GF for two weeks?
She gets a warning. After another two weeks: -That’s an AUTOMATIC FAIL.

You do not want to see her naked to perform the test?
-That’s an AUTOMATIC FAIL.

If it falls but hits her on the way down it is a lineball.

Is it because she is pregnant?
You are the father? PASS

Your brother/her brother is the father?
-That’s an AUTOMATIC FAIL.

Is it because of her enormous beer gut?
-That’s an AUTOMATIC FAIL.

Problems with test:

You need two pencils to do it properly.

Pencil may fall due to smallish breasts. That’s ok if she passes “rule of thumb” above ie. She still uses a pencil at uni/tafe etc and she is over 18. Send her to me for varification of test. I will issue you a certificate.

Pencil may not fall but she passes the "rule of thumb test" and is under 35 yo. Hmmm tricky. Send her to me for varification of test. I will issue you a certificate.

If pencil falls but then hits a big gut then take the pencil and stab yourself with it because you are stuck with a fat chick with small tits and that is the worst combination you can live with. :cry:

If she passes the pencil and rule of thumb test and she sleeps with you for free then be grateful my friend. Your world is a joyous place. Shame on you for being on this forum. May the Bluebird of Happiness shit on your head from a great height.

If your misses is in the “AUTOMATIC FAIL” category then you are allowed to (should) buy the Fireworks Report.

Vades con Putas amigos. :wink:

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bender
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Unread postby bender » Fri Sep 30, 2005 11:12 pm

This is all starting to make sense to me man... the thumbs now the pencil, it's like some kind of profound awakening.

Hands up everyone whose wife/gf passes the thumbs and pencil test, certainly not mine.

*cough, cough*
Last edited by bender on Sat Oct 01, 2005 10:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.



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