New to visiting brothels?

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alecsomesmart
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Unread post by alecsomesmart »

After Bender asks question:

*Sound of wind blowing... crickets...

A tumble weed rolls across the screen...

In the distance we hear a lonely Coyote howl at the moon… *



________________________________________

By the way: The correct answers Wife/GF should give when you call her are along the lines of:

“Yes My LORD? Shall I wonder over in my resplendent nakedness and pleasure you? My mouth is willing and my cheeks [pointing down] are firm.”

Or

“I hear and obey MASTER. Now that I am naked let me get you a beer while you watch the Cricket. Would you like me to rub your shoulders?”

Or

“Seeing as I am naked, My Most Royal Cockness, do you think it might be fun to get my hot GF over so that we can both shave my pussy? I’ll make sure she brings a couple of Pizzas and a six pack for afterwards.”

The last is my personal favorite but I am sure this forum will come up with more.
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bender
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Perfect day

Unread post by bender »

THE PERFECT DAY - FOR HER
8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses

8:30 Weigh in 2kg lighter than yesterday

8:45 Breakfast in bed - Freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; open presents - expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner

9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil

10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer

10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo condition, blow dry

12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe

12:45 Catch sight of boyfriend's ex and notices she has gained 7kg

13:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit

15:00 Nap

16:00 3 dozen roses delivered by florist - card is from secret admirer

16:15 Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but gentle hunk who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body

17:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before full length mirror

19:30 Candle lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/dancers

22:00 Hot shower [alone]

22:50 Carried to bed...[Freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen]

23:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling

23:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms





THE PERFECT DAY - FOR HIM
6:00 Alarm

6:15 Blow job

6:30 Massive satisfying dump while reading the sports section

7:00 Breakfast - rump steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked buxom wench

7:30 Limo arrives

7:45 Several Whiskeys en-route to airport

9:15 Flight in personal Lear Jet

9:30 Limo to Riverside Oaks Golf Club [Blow job en-route]

9:45 Play front nine [2 under]

11:45 Lunch - Pie, chips and gravy, 3 lagers and a bottle of Dom Perignon

12:15 Blow job

12:30 Play back nine [4 under]

14:15 Limo back to airport

14:30 Fly to Monte Carlo

15:30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew [all nude]

16:30 Land world record Marlin [1234lbs] on light tackle

17:00 Fly home - massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson

18:45 Shit, shower, shave

19:00 Watch news - Brad Pitt assassinated; marajuana and porn legalised

19:30 Dinner - Lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon, big juicy fillet steak followed by Ice cream served on a pair of tits

21:00 Napoleon Brandy and Cohuna cigar in front of wall size TV as you watch Match of the Day

21:30 Sex with three women [all with lesbian tendencies]

23:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and cleansing ale

23:30 Night cap blow job

23:45 In bed alone

23:50 A 12 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room
alecsomesmart
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Unread post by alecsomesmart »

:idea:

Four Secrets of successful relationships

1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans.

2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money.

3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex.

4. It is very important that these three women never meet.


:idea:
Porky
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Unread post by Porky »

Bender, here is how you calculate how many occasions you should "Punt"


It only takes 30 seconds.


Work this out as you read.
Don't read the bottom until you have completed the following instructions.


First of all, pick the number of days a week that you would like to go out and score with WL'S-or whatever).


Multiply this number by 2.


Add 5.


Multiply it by 50.


If you have already had your birthday this year, add 1748.


If you haven't, add 1747.


Last step: Subtract the four digit year that you were born.


SEE BELOW:

RESULTS:

You should now have a three digit number: The first digit of this was your original number ( i.e., how many times you want to Punt each week).


The second two digits are your age.


Best


Porky
teacha
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Unread post by teacha »

[quote="Porky"]Bender, here is how you calculate how many occasions you should "Punt"


It only takes 30 seconds.


Work this out as you read.
Don't read the bottom until you have completed the following instructions.


First of all, pick the number of days a week that you would like to go out and score with WL'S-or whatever).


Multiply this number by 2.


Add 5.


Multiply it by 50.


If you have already had your birthday this year, add 1748.


If you haven't, add 1747.


Last step: Subtract the four digit year that you were born.


SEE BELOW:

RESULTS:

You should now have a three digit number: The first digit of this was your original number ( i.e., how many times you want to Punt each week).


The second two digits are your age.


Best


Porky[/quote]


Its got the number of day right but not my age :wink:

says I'm 32 when I'm 35!

Ah I only wish
Last edited by teacha on Wed May 12, 2010 4:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
qualityoverquantity
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the rerun

Unread post by qualityoverquantity »

Adding on to what has been said above, don't get your hopes up for the return visit.

One of the best I ever had was at Thai something in Surry Hills, young, gravity defying tits, wildly orgasmic, lots of kissing (without asking or paying for it), real GFE and PSE mixed into one. Afterwards was like a pussy cat cuddling up to me and wanting to be stroked, asking all those leading questions about what I do, how often and whether she can be involved. A true reminder of why we do this!

Six months later at the same shop, see the same girl and thought why not (I generally don't go back for seconds - there are so many WLs and so little time :D ). This time it was one of the worst, I was trying to get her involved and start the fire slowly like the first time and she was like hurry up and come and get out of here. Now I know everyone has bad days at work, and I don't hold it against her - especially after the first time.

But, the moral for me is that just because it was mind blowing once, it doesn't pay to have your expectations too high on return visits - especially if you are an infrequent user like myself when they probably won't remember you. If your back the next day or week it can be a different story - but unfortunately with other attachments, some of us don't have the time or the albi's!
wazzaa
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Unread post by wazzaa »

Some of 2cent....

You may sometime find out that you could be having free punting from one or more WL's u have seen at private times.....THIS is all up to you to proceed and at your own risk.....

Tip is not compulsary.

Never ever promise WL to get her or buy her stuffs....just work ur way out of it.

Even though we're goin to brothels to satisfy ourself and plus we paid for it, do respect the WL's wishes or personal issues. If said that no anal then don't push it....some punters might have diff opinion on this but i found that if you respect them they'll do the same and u might go home with big smile/grin on ur face :D

Another one, some places don't let caucs into the premises let alone seeing any of their gals for so many reasons.....just accept it and go to other place....by bad mouthing the receptionist or even the WL on why they don't want caucs will do u no good at all.....

Lastly, should you get very dissapointed service, you should tell the receptionist or manager or owner (whom ever) and type some note to all of us here :)

aight those are my 2 c
drpecker
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Re: New to visiting brothels?

Unread post by drpecker »

bender wrote:

* for longer bookings the rule of thumb is "you can cum as many times as you can within the paid time", but be reasonable, if you've just hammered her for 45 mins she may have deserved a break. Tip! If you've cum once and you feel satisfied, just ask her for a back rub for the remaining time.
How long do the bookings have to be for this rule of thumb to apply? 60 / 90 mins or longer?

Cheers
wazzaa
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Unread post by wazzaa »

IMO and my experiences...if u think u could cum twice in a 45 min that's good for u. Generally, what bender wrote is no matter which booking period u choose if u can cum more than twice that's a good value for u.

So just to give u an example i got a fren who always see WL for 30 min and he always managed to cum twice.....even i can't do once in a 30 min session :?
hooboy
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Unread post by hooboy »

..
angel_eyes
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Re: New to visiting brothels?

Unread post by angel_eyes »

You know what has a WL I agree and disagree with all of the above
Know what you want the worst excuse I have ever heard is that I’m
Going to the atm (most places now have EFT just ask what shows up on the receipt simple) and they say ill book…. For however long.

Now because the WL has been booked they may decided to intro or wait for you to get back now because the WG (working girl) now because the WG is waiting for your sorry arse to some back she’s losing out on money because you didn’t have the balls to say sorry you don’t have what I’m looking for…
But it is true the one you think is the hottest may turn out to be a dudd root not always but sometimes.
Now most common rules males tend to ignore due to media influences if you want someone who has big tits and a nice arse you go where the curvy ladies are because you know that everything is real.
You cant serisely like being in dogy fucking someone who is skinny and feel there arse bones on your hips if you find that attractive me personally I’m goanna puke.
Because in actrual fact being in doggy with a curvy lady there’s cushion so you’re not hurting either party also because there arse is very spank able.
Last edited by angel_eyes on Wed May 06, 2009 10:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
fed nurk
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Re: New to visiting brothels?

Unread post by fed nurk »

Hey Angel-Eyes you're too much.....but could you pls switch to lower case coz all this SHOUTING is bursting my fuckin' ear drums baby !!!
angel_eyes
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Re: New to visiting brothels?

Unread post by angel_eyes »

for fed nurk

ive changed it to lower case for you and what do you mean im to much ??
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darth
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No booking, no bullshit policy

Unread post by darth »

Kissandtell posted this excellent insight into how he manages bookings, his Jedi skills really are awesome.

I have a "No booking, no bullshit" policy with ALL shops now because I basically experience the same stuff wherever I go. It goes like this.

I never book because no shop seems to understand a booking as a concept or a reality, or that you might yourself be busy, only have an hour for some fun, and not have a week to kick your heels in a brothel waiting for some WL to finish seeing the rest of Sydney.

I phone the shop about 2 minutes before I arrive. If the girl I want is busy I go somewhere else. If she is "ready now" then hear that knocking at the door...? That is me so "ready now" better be "ready now" or I will absoultely walk. I will not argue with reception or management, accuse them of lying or get into anything. I have done all of that before. It doesn't work as you are dealing with people (management) who regard you as a punter with complete contempt. Any kindness or consideration extended is seen as weakness to be exploited. Money and them losing it is the only thing they understand.

I remain quiet and polite but I just pick up my coat and leave. Do this a couple of times and the regular girl you were going to see gets totally pissed off because management is costing them money and that most valauble of things, a good and regular customer. Adopting this policy at the shops I go to has dramatically improved my "relationship" with management, who have all frequently pissed me around because I was a girls regular and so thought I would put up with all sorts of shit so I could see her. Money, and losing it, is the only thing that management, and to a certain extent, the girls understand or care about.

That said I have learnt to never give any of my grief about management to the girl. I remain neat, clean, tidy, totally respectful, kind, sweet and a total pushover in the session.

Money talks but it talks just as much when it walks.
hunter
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Re: New to visiting brothels?

Unread post by hunter »

hi all,

my only suggestion to the newly initated punters is this...dont expect the heaven if you knock on the door of a shop at 3am on a Sat or Fri night...your going to get very tired and shitty players...

like fishing, one must always understand the tides and conditions before putting out his line for a good fuck!

My suggestion is that any punting must be done either Mon - Wed nights... Sundays and Thurs nights can be either very busy or suprising good time to pick as well...leave the weekend game for the amateurs!

However, the key to any successful punting is what i call "the change of the tide"....this being the change over from day shift to night shift...generally around 6pm....this when you get fresh, happy and start of the shift women ready for action!

so if you want the best, understand the shops conditions, shift hours and women...and i bet you wont be unsatisfied!
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